Bringing Out the Battousai
by Alysandrya
Summary: Hey!! I finally updated!! Yatta!! This is now definately rated R. Just so you know... :) Happy reading!
1. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 1

Okay... Go with me here... I've never published a fic before, and so this is kinda new to me. Sorry about the format, it was late when I finally uploaded, and I didn't have time to change things around and play with the settings at all yet... I'm still working on that... But I will have it fixed within the next couple of days. Also, Just a random thought of mine... how in the world does one make a summary of a story they haven't even finished yet, let alone know where it is going?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kenshin could hear Yahiko and Kaoru's footsteps as one chased the other over yet another arguement between the two of them. A loud thump echoed through the air, followed by Kaoru's annoyed yelling. "Serves you right, Yahiko-Chan!" her footsteps, now light and sure headed towards Kenshin. "Kenshin?" She called.   
  
"In here, Kaoru-dono." The door slid open and Kaoru's slim form emerged from the adjacent room. Her eyes alight on him, she walking towards him, seemingly with a purpose.   
  
"I was thinking, would you like to join me and go to Akabeko for dinner?" Yahiko's enraged yell bounced through the walls and pierced Kenshin's ears. He glanced towards the sound, then glanced back just in time to see Kaoru's satisfied smile.  
  
"Of course, Kaoru-dono." His eyes slitted closed, ever so closely, wondering what was up. The door slammed open, and Yahiko stood panting, glaring at Kaoru and Kenshin.  
  
"And what will I do for dinner?" Kaoru smiled again, her eyes glinting with something that looked like a cross between amusement and rancor, and shrugged.  
  
"Whatever you like." She gave him a piercing gaze and turned to Kenshin. "Shall we go?" Kenshin gracefully rose from his sitting position and nodded. Kaoru turned and walked from the room, with Kenshin staring after her. What was she up to this time? And how much trouble would he get into because of it?  
  
"Yahiko, I made some pickled-" Kenshin started, but realized that Yahiko, too, was walking away from him. Sighing, he headed towards Kaoru, feeling as though he had chosen one over the other.   
  
He hated choosing sides.  
  
When he stepped outside the house and towards the gate, he saw Kaoru simply standing, head down. Silently and quickly, he walked towards her. When he got closer he could see her shoulders shaking - she was crying. "Kaoru-dono?" Her head snapped up and she reached up with both hands to rub her face, trying to dry it, and failing miserably.  
  
"Kenshin, I..." She turned around to face him. "Never mind. Don't worry about it." For now, Kenshin thought, I will let it go. But tonight, you will explain. He nodded at her and took two steps forward.  
  
"Shall we go?" He continued forward until he was next to her, him facing the gate, her facing the house.  
  
"Kenshin, can we just go for a walk instead? I'm not very hungry anymore." Kenshin slanted a look at her, but nodded his assent. Oh, yes, you will explain.  
  
Kaoru turned and started out the gates of their home, Kenshin by her side. He turned around to see Yahiko watching them, malice and anger in his eyes. Kaoru started down the road towards a lesser travelled path, one that headed out of town.   
  
When they had walked a ways, Kaoru turned to Kenshin. "Are you happy, Kenshin?" Her voice held an anguished quality, sadness with a touch of remorse.  
  
"Oro?" The question took him by surprise. It wasn't a question that he was prepared to answer for her. "What do you mean?" He knew what she meant, but asked the question to stall, to give himself some more time to ease the discomfort of working his words around a lie and tell the truth at the same time.  
  
It was hard to tell the truth to others when you lied so easily to yourself. Kenshin knew this from mass experience.   
  
"Are you happy with what you have? With the way things are?" Kaoru's voice held a touch of insecurity, almost as though her entire being depended upon his answer. And perhaps it did.  
  
Kenshin stopped walking and looked her in the eyes. "I may not have all the creature comforts that I could ask for, but I don't need them. I have my friends, food in my stomach, clean clothes and a place to sleep at night. What more do I need, Kaoru-dono?" He watched her face through all of this, judging her reaction.  
  
"Yahiko hates me, Kenshin. Sanosuke and Megumi dislike me. Sano only comes around when he's hungry." A single tear fell from her eyes. "I can't cook, I'm not lady-like, I'm not demure, or beautiful. I don't know how to cure somebody who has even the smallest illness, every time I fight with someone, I seem to lose, I can't do anything! Megumi was right." She sobbed the last part out, and hung her head. "I'll never be the woman that Tomoe was; I can never be the kind of woman that you want. You treat me like something breakable. Obviously that's not the case. While I can't really fight, I'm obviously not delicate." Kenshin lifted his hand and skimmed the top of her head while looking at her with his apt attention.   
  
This was new. Normally, Kaoru was so energetic, one could mistake her as a person with great confidence. It was easy to forget how easy feelings could be hurt when you're still so innocent. Kenshin didn't know much about that age, nor about innocence, but he was learning. Kaoru was good at teaching more than just the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu.   
  
"Kaoru." When she lifted her head, he was so close, if she even slightly leaned forward they'd be touching. The tears continued to fall down her cheeks. "I never realized." His arms came up and lightly clasped her, not even holding her to him. He couldn't let her know he wanted her. She'd hate him.  
  
"Even now, Kenshin, you don't even want to touch me." She tore away from him, even as his eyes began to glow, ever so slightly. She ran down the path, away from the dojo, towards the river, somewhere other than where she was. To a place other than with people who didn't even want to be near her. Kenshin watched after her, following her at the same speed she was going, silently and out of sight.   
  
Kaoru didn't stop until she was at the water's edge, her toes hairwidths away from the water. Kenshin watched her from ten feet away, silent still.  
  
"Why do you follow me, Kenshin. Is it a need to watch over everyone around you? You care so much about everyone, you won't allow yourself to care a little more about someone. everyone around you is equal in your eyes." She turned around and looked at him. "You walk into the room, and I feel it, Kenshin." She laid a hand against her heart. "Here." She sighed and shook her head. "You care, but are you incapable of loving? Is that it?"  
  
"I would advise that you stop now." His voice was soft. Soft and deadly and precise. Measured. "That I would." He added, almost as an afterthought.   
  
She knew she should have stopped, but she forged ahead. Almost more just to see what kind of reaction she would get, to see how far she could push.   
  
"For what purpose? Am I going to make you mad? What will you do, Kenshin? What more can you do to me than you've already done?" For the first time she looked at his eyes. She was shocked. "Or have I already pissed you off?" She shrugged. "What's the point in worrying about it? What will you do to me, Battousai? Kill me?" She paused and spread her arms out. "Go ahead, end it. End my pain. You're welcome to." She cocked her head to the side. "Oh, that's right. You don't kill anymore." Her voice was cold, sure, taunting him, and it sounded to Kenshin as though she were trying to push him over the edge. "The ones you love, oops, forgot, you don't love. The ones you care about could be about to die, and you would still hold out for that stupid vow of yours. But no. Promises are what you are made of. Not love."  
  
She succeeded.  
  
"Kaoru, stop." His voice, that calm surety, was what stopped her. Looking in his eyes, she saw something she never thought that she would see. The rurouni was gone. Thrust in the dark depths of his mind. For the first time, she was slightly afraid. Not of him, but of what he could do, what he had done. But her fear didn't last long.  
  
"Why? Do you have something important to say to me? Some all chang-" Suddenly she was in the water, his body on top of hers, his mouth on hers, claiming her.  
  
"What more do you want, Kaoru?" He panted. "I stop myself every day, control myself every day, but it's always there, lingering." He leaned his head down again, taking control of her lips once more, but this time it was different. His tongue parted her lips, tracing the sharp teeth, and reaching farther in to touch her tongue, tangling the two together, like a dance. A hot, heated, violent dance.  
  
"I want you." She said softly. "All of you." She had no clue what her words did to him, didn't even understand the sexual implications of what she was saying. His eyes, a deeper amber than she'd ever seen them before, looked deep into hers, as though searching for something more, something deeper down than she was willing to give.  
  
"Well you have me. What will you do now?" He asked, a cruel lint to his voice. Even as she flinched, she looked at him with total and complete trust. She was shivering, he just now noticed. And, noticing that, he realized that they were both wet and cold, but for the places where they touched.  
  
"You want to know? Well, then I'll tell you." His hard body weighed heavily on hers. "I've never held you close, not because you're delicate, but because I can't. Because any closer, and I'd lose it. All the self control I have. All that fucking self control I keep myself bottled up with." He spat the words at her, and she closed her eyes, as if unwilling to keep subjecting herself to his truths.   
  
"What would I do to you? You have no idea. Kill you? Never. But I know you would never like what I would. And because of that, I stay away. You don't even have a clue, you're still so inexperienced." She opened her eyes and looked at him again.  
  
"I don't think you would hurt me, Kenshin. I never did." Her statement brought him back to reality. God, she doesn't even know how much I want her. It's so obvious, and she doesn't even know. In truth, he was hard, even with the cold water rushing at them. He was hard and pressing into her stomach. The urge to touch her, to show her what he wanted, how he wanted her was so intense, painful even.  
  
"But you're wrong." She was confused. What did he mean?   
  
And then, without even another word, she was back on the bank of the river, and he was gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay, I finally went through and changed a couple things here and there... Added lines here, changed a few things there... Nobody, including myself was quite satisfied with the first part of the story, and I still think the first half of this chapter goes far too fast...  
  
This probably seems out of character for all people involved, but all of them seemed kind of... frazzled.. probably because I am... Too much going on in life. For instance, tomorrow I have to dress up in black and grieve for someone too young. It all makes an impact on writing.. 


	2. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 2

Why in the hell did I do that? Why can't I just leave her well enough alone? In truth he was only thirty feet away from him. He could see her, but she couldn't see him. Kenshin knew what had happened - Kaoru had drawn the Battousai out in him. Something that one person rarely could achieve.  
  
Kaoru turned from the river and began walking back towards the dojo. He could her her soft sobs, hiccoughing as she walked. Silently, he followed some distance behind her, invisible to anyone who walked near him. She began to pick up her pace, stumbling over brush and sticks on the ground, nearly falling every time. Do you have do punish yourself, Kaoru-dono?   
  
Finally, the odds came crashing down upon her, and she fell, hitting the ground with a solid thump. As he watched, she didn't even try to get up, didn't even try to move. Just laid there, her sobs ever so softly beating a hole in his heart. How can you not know? How can you not know how I feel? He knew she cared for him, but now he knew she didn't think anyone cared for her.  
  
An astounding thought.  
  
Slowly, she turned herself over, to watch the skies as tears fell down her cheeks in glistening streaks of flashing light. "Kenshin." Was all she said that he could hear. At that moment, he wished he were a lip reader and the sun was out. He couldn't tell if she was beckoning him or making a wish, perhaps she had seen a falling star in the sky, perhaps she was simply wishing him away. He took a step forward, and heard a branch crack beneath his foot. Busted.  
  
Immediately her eyes sought him out, and, trying to repair some modesty, she stood up, hoping to fix some of the damage done to her image and her ego, lying there on the dirt path. She looked him in the eyes, searching for answers, even as the tears still fell. "Why do you follow me?" She shook her head. "You're free, Kenshin. You don't have to stay. Go, be happy. You certainly aren't with me." She let a tiny sob out. "No one is." She took a deep breath of air, trying not to pant. It wasn't ladylike.  
  
He took another step forward, but feeling his temper rise once again, stopped, trying to calm himself. If she was trying to bring out the Battousai, it wasn't going to work this time. He had to control himself. Had to. If he didn't... it would all come out. Every bit of it, all he was feeling, all that he was thinking, would come out in a flow. He wasn't ready for that. He realized she was speaking again and tuned himself back in.  
  
"- so just go. I hope you can find happiness. You're released from your promises, Kenshin. Released." She turned around before she could see his eyes, his entire demeanor, begin to glow.  
  
"Aishiteru." He said it so softly, she didn't even hear him, couldn't tell what he said.  
  
"What do you have to say? Thanks? I don't think I even want to know. Just go, and leave me be." And with that, she walked away, not even waiting for a response.  
  
  
"Stupid rurouni. Baka." He followed with a string of curses, one after the other until he ran out of words to say. The anger in him, he found, was not diminished by this act, but rather fueled by it. He was never much good at cursing anyhow. Perhaps that was a good thing.  
  
Slowly, deliberately, he took each step, following Kaoru back to the dojo, but staying behind. He didn't want to set her off again, once had been enough. What do I say to her? Why can't I just tell her I love her? Pride? I have none left. There's no jealous or over-protective lover, no father watching over her. Why can't I just tell her, and consequences be damned? Why don't I tell her?  
  
Because she'd hate me. Because she doesn't care for me like I do her. She doesn't even want me around anymore. But I will stay. Where else do I have to go? How would I start over, without her? I would have no more sunny days, he realized, chagrined.   
  
Shaking his head at himself, he had to wonder, When did I fall in love with her? When did that happen? How does something like that just sneak up on you? Shouldn't you know when it happens? He was completely mystified with the realization that he hadn't even known what was happening to him.   
  
It scared him like nothing else. 


	3. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 3

"Yahiko?" Kenshin could hear Kaoru's frantic voice inside the dojo. "Yahiko!?!" He hurried his steps and went inside to find her.   
  
"Kaoru? What's going on?" In her panic, Kaoru seemed to have totally forgotten what had happened earlier, and the fact that her kimono was still sopping wet.  
  
"It's Yahiko! He's gone! He's taken his bokken and left a note and he left! Kenshin, what if he-" She shuddered, not even wanting to voice her thoughts. "We have to find him!" Kenshin nodded to her.  
  
"Pack the essentials, no more than you can carry. He's got two hours lead time on us, and he's fast. We'll leave in fifteen minutes." Kenshin watched her as she hurried to do his bidding, rushing off to change her clothes, grab a fresh set and pack some food. He hadn't given her much time, but, she realized, he had given her more time than he should have, than he needed.   
  
Kenshin headed to get his sakabatou, and what little he needed to take with him. Less than five minutes later, he was ready, and she was already in the kitchen grabbing whatever she could to take with them. He read the worry on her face, could see the emotions coloring her chi. Though she didn't even think Yahiko liked her, she was ready to search for him, ready to put herself through whatever it took to get him back, safe, where he belonged.  
  
Kaoru turned to see Kenshin scowling at the floor, deep in thought. "Whenever you're ready, Kenshin."  
  
"Nine minutes. Not bad, Kaoru." Together, they headed towards the gates of the dojo, Kaoru with a note in hand to pin on the wood, should anyone show up.  
  
"It's been months since I had to lock these gates." she murmured, more to herself than him.   
  
"We went towards the river, so he's headed the other way." Kenshin said. Kaoru nodded, then stopped herself, realizing.  
  
"I'm not so sure about that. That's exactly what he'd want us to think, what he'd expect us to think. I think he went the way we did." Kenshin nodded. She made sense. Yahiko would know what Kenshin would be expecting him to do, and he'd try to do just the opposite. It made him just as easily trackable.  
  
  
  
  
  
Two hours later, Kaoru felt like they had travelled twenty miles already. Her legs hurt, her back was stiff, and her arms ached. She had just had to bring the extra clothes, right? And the extra shoes, the brush, comb, hankerchiefs, bandages, blanket, matches, and water, right? Right? She kept asking herself why she didn't just dump the entire thing. Surely she'd walk easier without it.  
  
But, in the end, pride won out over physical pain, and she kept it on. She didn't want Kenshin to think that she wasn't strong enough to carry her own, to be able to deal with her own plight, and so, despite the stiff back, aching arms, shoulders, and next, despite the hurting legs, she kept on, carrying her pack.  
  
"We shall stop here tonight. We'll have to rest. Yahiko will too. We'll leave again at first light." She nodded, and stopped, pulling her pack off of her shoulders and setting it down on the ground. She needed water, a blanket and sleep. Food she'd worry about before they left in the morning.  
  
Wrapping the blanket around herself, she fell asleep, knowing she'd wake up with a ton more aches and pains in the morning.  
  
  
  
Kenshin simply watched Kaoru's sleeping figure for the better part of the night. His memory flashed back to the first time he met her. Her courage had stood out to him. That had been the first thing she had noticed. The second was her beauty. Smiling, he recalled the way that she had taken on the 'Hitokiri Battosai', knowing full well that the imposter had killed and injured many of her townspeople. Kaoru had honor, and he respected that. But she also had a sunny disposition, a good sense of humor, intelligence, common sense(part of the time).. and then.. there were her physical aspects - her beautiful face and stunning profile, her...   
  
Kenshin realized what he was doing, thinking all these thoughts about Kaoru, and shook his head, as though trying to shake some sense into it. Finally, seeing no other option, he stood and walked towards the river.   
  
  
  
"K... Kenshin?" Kaoru opened her eyes and glanced around. He wasn't there, but his sakabatou was. She stood and headed towards the river. She had to carefully step; she couldn't even see the ground it was so dark in the forest, and, when she finally found moonlight, she knew she was at the river. She glanced up and watched the stars for a moment, wondering at their majesty, before glancing around for Kenshin. There, about twenty feet away, was all of his clothing.  
  
Alright, then, she thought, he couldn't have gone far without his clothes... so where is he?   
  
A gentle splashing alerted her to where he was, swimming in the middle of the river. All she could do was stand there and watch him, watch the man with the incredible speed, the amazing strength, languidly swim in the river. What she couldn't hear was his muttering to himself. "Forget about it, Kenshin. Just put it out of your mind. It's obviously not meant to be. She doesn't want you. So why do you want her so bad?" He shook his head and dove under the water again, trying to cool himself, and his thoughts down. So why wouldn't it work? Why, just now, did it feel even worse than before, like she was there with him?  
  
And then he saw her, watching him, her eyes wide and innocent, just watching. Nothing else. A couple of days ago, she would have stolen his clothes and headed back to camp, now she just watched. And wondered.   
  
The man was gorgeous, there were no two ways about it. He was beautiful. "Kenshin." She said his name softly, as though she were hesitant, then turned back and headed back towards camp. She had seen too much, went too far, and pressed too deep into his privacy. 


	4. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 4

Okay... The next part of my little fic... Maybe this will explain a little more of Kaoru's feelings... or maybe it'll just confuse you more. he he  
  
Sorry about my rant... Id rather rant here than at work, cause then i'd get fired and nobody would get to read my *lovely* writing cause I wouldn't have a computer or even a car to get me to the library(a little voice in my head says :"You know, this sounds like a PERSONAL problem.")... grinning stupidly  
  
So then, on with the show...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kenshin found her back at the camp site a few minutes later, wrapped up in her blanket again, shivering because of the cold. It amazed him to watch her, struggling not to shiver, not to show her weakness. Sighing, he grabbed his own blanket and wrapped it too around her. "B-but, K-Kenshin, this is y-your blanket! Y-you should k-keep it to w-warm you up too!" Her teeth chattered too much for her to continue talking.   
  
"It's alright, Kaoru-dono." The blanket seemed to help her, and her shivering slowly ceased, the color returning to her cheeks gradually.  
  
"It's all my fault, Kenshin. It's all my fault. I treated him so poorly... I was just trying to make a point, to teach him a lesson, and it all came crashing back down on me, just like normal. I should have learned by now."  
  
"Kaoru-dono, you were well within your rights to do what you did, that you were." Kenshin paused for a second. "I would imagine Yahiko was trying to do the same to you." The irony of hit him as he was saying it.  
  
"But what can he teach me? I've had to teach him everything..."  
  
"There may be things you don't know yet, Kaoru-dono." He cocked his head to the side. "Things that Yahiko knows, things that he's tried or is trying to teach you."  
  
"But what-?" She was silenced by him shaking his head.  
  
"That is for Yahiko to tell you, that it is." Kaoru knew by instinct and experience that she wouldn't be able to press Kenshin on the matter. He had already said as much as he wanted to. So she flipped the subject on him.  
  
"What about you, Kenshin? Are there things that you don't know? Things we've taught you?" For the moment, she had forgotten everything that had been said between them earlier.  
  
"Yes." He didn't explain, didn't say anything more, just the one word was enough for him. So she hit him with another question.  
  
"Do you like me at all, Kenshin?" He seemed shocked by her question, as though he hadn't been expecting it, or maybe as though it wasn't something he thought she would ever ask. In truth, he was shocked because she didn't know. He thought it was obvious. Sano knew, Yahiko knew, even Megumi-dono knew.   
  
When he didn't answer her right away, she sighed and tossed his blanket at him. "Fine. Be that way. Cold and heartless. I suppose that's the real lesson you took from the war with you. How to be stoic and iced. You're so good at it, at not caring." Her eyes glinted as she spoke, not even looking at him. If she had, she would have realized how much her words were upsetting him. "You stick around and show what a big hero you are; 'look, I can defeat anyone without even cutting them. Aren't I great?' Do you even stop to think that you might be hurting us; me, Yahiko, those who care about you. Or do you just ignore it, because it doesn't even bother you? The thought of-" She stopped speaking as he stood and started walking in quick, measured steps towards her. "Do you even think, Kenshin?" It was the final straw for him.  
  
"You think I care about having a sword, about being the Hitokiri Battosai? You think that I don't care about those around me?" His eyes held little trace of the lavender that so clearly marked the rurouni. In truth, they were colored so amber, they glowed. Suddenly, he let out a quick, contemptous laugh. "Why would I care? Why should I? Why should I care about someone who is so convinced that I don't care? Why even worry about that? Why should I? Why shouldn't I be so selfish, as you seem to be convinced that I am? Should I simply take everything I want, no matter what the cost to others?"  
  
He was so close to her sitting form, he was almost on top of her. "So why shouldn't I just take you? You and I both know you'd never be able to best me; hell, you wouldn't even get a shot in. You know that as well as I do." His hands shot out and gripped her under the armpits, lifting her and holding her up so her wide eyes were directly in front of his. Her toes skimmed the ground, but not enough to ease the pain of the muscles in her shoulders from being held up in such an awkward way.   
  
"Kenshin..." She whispered his name, so softly, but it did no good. He just kept staring into her eyes. It unnerved her, right down into the core of her being. Then he let out another one of his cynical, caustic laughs.  
  
"Not that you'd really resist me, would you, Kaoru? I mean, look at the two of us. It's a joke. You've become the saint and me the villian. All you do is for those around you, but you're convinced that I'm all about myself. This line of thought is simply crazy And what reason do I have for traipsing after Yahiko, freezing my ass off on this cold night, answer me that!" He shook his head. "Don't answer that. I don't want to hear what you think. I can't handle that." His mind was filled with all the things that she was probably thinking.  
  
Everything else that he had said, she could put up with. But that was the last thing she would put up with. "And what do you think would keep me from telling you what I think? So what that you could take me here, now, anywhere you wanted. So you can control me physically. Does that make you feel good? Does it make you feel good inside to know that you could do whatever you wanted with my body because you're stronger and more skilled at fighting than I am? What does that really say about you, Kenshin?" She paused and looked at him for a second.   
  
"And your reason for going with me to follow Yahiko, it's obvio-" She was cut off by his mouth on hers, his tongue sneaking out to tease her lips open and slip inside, dancing a terrifying dance with her own tongue. He pulled her body against his, and tilted his head to delve deeper into her mouth; she opening her mouth just a little bit farther, willingly letting him violate that part of her being. He pulled back slightly to nip her bottom lip with his teeth, just enough to hurt, then he kissed it away, leaning in again to ravage her mouth once more. And the kiss became more than just a way to shut her up.   
  
Her soft moan broke his reverie. He lifted his head away from her, searching her face for something, some kind of sign, anything to tell him what she was feeling. Nervously, he saw her tongue sneak out to wet her lips. It was her who spoke first. "Why do you do that, Kenshin? Don't you realize that doing that to me is a worse punishment than ignoring me? If you don't want to be around me, just say so. You don't need to toy with me."  
  
He was ready to throw his head back in vexation. Didn't she get it at all? "Why in the hell do you think that I don't like you?"  
  
"You don't need to yell, Kenshin." She swallowed. Another nervous habit. "Why do I think you don't like me? Because if you cared, if you cared the way I hoped you did, then you would have already done something about it, Kenshin. You would have..." She shook her head. "It's useless now. What's the point?"  
  
"Done something?" He asked over the top of her voice. "And what did you want me to do? Bend you over a table and have my way with you? Buy you pretty little baubles? What did you want? What more could I have done?"  
  
"Talked." She murmured. "I don't need things, I needed your attention. I want... wanted you to talk to me, to share your thoughts, to share your feelings and dreams." She blinked as she realized that he had almost blanked her out. "Kenshin?"  
  
He laughed again. "Here were discussing love, and you're talking about conversation? You don't have to be in a relationship to talk, Kaoru. You don't even need to be fucking someone to have a conversation with them."  
  
"No, those are the ones least likely to have a conversation!" Kaoru interjected. This time, Kenshin's laugh was filled with humor.  
  
"Right you are." Finally, as though just realizing he was still holding her to him, he set her down and away from him. "So what do you want from me?" Kaoru shook her head.  
  
"Nothing now." She paused. "Nothing when you don't even want to be around me." For the first time, Kaoru heard Kenshin growl, both with irritation and exasperation.  
  
"God damnit, woman." This was different from what she knew of Kenshin. "What do I have to do to get you to understand? I've never seen you so unreasonable and obstinate!" She took a step back from him, only to find herself up against a tree.   
  
His hands shot out to her sides, trapping her between the tree and Kenshin. She looked up at him, and he saw again what he had seen the previous night: pure trust of a person so clearly on the edge. Even now, even as he threatened her, she trusted him. Why was that? What did she see that he didn't? He just didn't understand her. He supposed that put them at an impasse on that account.  
  
"Are you worried, Kaoru? Is that why you try to get away from me? Do you think I'd hurt you?"  
  
"You said last night you would." That moment still stuck out in her mind.   
  
"Hmm. Yes, I would. But only once." She didn't understand; he was talking in riddles. He saw the confusion in her eyes. "You really don't know, do you? I mean, you really are completely inexperienced. Most girls your age are married with a baby, and you still don't know. You're seventeen, Kaoru. Where does that put you? What do you have? You should've been married already. Why aren't you?" He didn't expect an answer, and he suspected he didn't want one.  
  
But he got one. "Because you won't have me." He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and backed away from her, heading back to the river.   
  
"Be ready at dawn."  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay... so what next..? Any ideas? It's easy to start or finish a fic, it's hard to write the middle... Anyways, I welcome any and all ideas that you have... Any reviews are welcome, unless of course you're just going to tell me that it sucks and I should commit myself somewhere and save the living... I tried that and it didn't work.. 


	5. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 5

Okay... This might work... then again, it might not... please tell me what you think? Please?  
Hope you all like it... I think I do. I'll have to read it when it's not four am, and I'm not dead tired... Happy reading...  
  
  
  
  
Kenshin headed in the direction of the river until he was out of sight of Kaoru. Then he headed north. He had to do something, get this tension out of his system. She was driving him mad, her unending comments driving a spike right into the core of him. She hurt him. She really had. He had thought that it couldn't be done any longer, but there he was, the tear she caused within him still raw.  
  
The past twenty-four hours had been a constant struggle between the Battousai and the rurouni. Whenever Kaoru had said something that pissed him off, the violent half of Kenshin's nature threatened to take hold, and even surfacing. It had surfaced too often, too much. He didn't want to show that side of himself to Kaoru, fearing she would think even less of him.  
  
Sighing, he did the only thing he could think of to pass the time. With a soft click, he pulled his sakabatou from it's sheath, slicing it through the air, feeling the weight of it in his hands. At least some things remained the same, he thought, as he began to practice, something he hadn't done in a long time.   
  
He had to focus just on what he was doing. If he focused on anything else, he knew hed lose it, the will, desire to practice, and he'd go back and beg Kaoru for... Focus! he commanded himself.  
  
But at the same time, his battle with the Battousai wasn't over. The use of the sword, even for practice, was calling to his favage half, calling him to the surface. He just couldn't win.   
  
He stopped moving for a moment, trying to calm himself. Taking deep breaths and relxing his shoulders, he sat and thought. There was no use, he would think no matter what he was doing.  
  
He tried thinking of Yahiko. He knew they were heading in the right direction because he had seen signs of him, had sensed that someone had been headed in their direction. Foot prints, broken branchs, and trampled plants were all signs that this person with a swordsmens ki had been there recently. And it wasn't someone with extensive training. It it were, there would be no sign other than the sense of someone there. It all added up.   
  
He also knew they were gaining on Yahiko bit by bit. Yahiko, while determined, was still undisciplined, and would most likely rest whenever he felt he needed it. That would likely be his downfall.  
  
Finally, after completely thinking through his plans for catching up with Yahiko, he stood and headed back towards the makeshift camp he and Kaoru had created.  
  
  
  
Kaoru had sat staring after Kenshin for a long while, wishing he hadn't left, wishing he would have done anything but leave. Yell at her, be silent, talk to her, ignore her, anything but walk away.   
  
She knew that it was easier for him to walk away and take his own time, but whenever anything bad happened, he always did that to her.   
  
Feeling guilty, she added the thought, Alright, I know, I do it to him too. Perhaps that was their problem. She had as good as told him that she loved him. Had basically told him that she wanted to marry him. But Kenshin was not a subtle man. It took blunt speaking and a frying pan to get her point across often times, and she knew it. Why couldn't he occasionally appreciate a bit of subtlety? Couldn't he understand she love him? Not just the rurouni in him but both sides, good and bad, night and day? She had told him, so many times already, but he refused to listen.  
  
Turn that pointing finger back upon yourself. Kaoru thought, Have I missed something too? Has Kenshin told me something that I missed, that I didn't want to hear, or that I wanted him to come right out and say to me?  
  
But the little voice of insecurity in the back of her mind kept telling her that if he wanted her, if he loved her, he would have told her, would already have asked her. Since he hadn't yet, why not? Perhaps he liked someone else? Megumi, for instance?   
  
The doctor was brilliant, beautiful, and talented. But she would be so much better suited to Sano! It was easy to think, but Megumi was so flirtatious with Kenshin it made Kaoru uneasy about assuming anything. Best not to think too deeply about it.  
  
She looked up and towards the river, hoping to see Kenshin weaving his way back through the trees, coming back to say that he was sorry for arguing with her, but he was worried about Yahiko.  
  
"Kenshin!" She cried, as she saw a figure coming towards her. But her excitement died down when she realized it was not Kenshin, nor was it even a single man, but four men, drunkenly winding their way through the forest.  
  
She tried to duck out of the way before they saw her, but she wasn't fast enough, and they were on her in seconds. Blindly, she kicked at them, trying to get away.  
  
"Hold on there, little missy. I'd bet you've got some money to give us and we'd let you go. You do, don't you?" She shook her head.  
  
"I don't have any money. I've only my pack with me, no-" She let out a gasp as his fist flew into her stomach, and all she could to was stare at the man and flinch. She couldn't even scream - he had knocked her breath away.  
  
"Then you'll have to pay for your passage another way." He said, and started ripping her clothing up the center.  
  
  
  
Something was wrong. Kenshin sensed it immediately, dreading it. It the Battousai tried to come out this time, he might very well lose to him for some time. Taking off at his running speed, he headed back towards the camp, towards Kaoru. When he came upon the small clearing they had made into their campsite, he saw four men. One appeared to be a simple fighter, fists only. Two carried swords, and the other... Damnit, he couldn't see the other. He knew his senses weren't as finely tuned as the Battousai, and he would have better reaction time-  
  
One of the men shifted positions and he could see Kaoru, naked and shivering, wrestling with all her might despite being held down but two of the men. It was the final straw.   
  
His eyes turned the amber color of the Battousai, and his entire demeanor changed, from the way he held his sword to the way he stood. His entire stance was different, his entire persona and ki. Even his face seemed harder looking.  
  
Quicker than light, he simply knocked the first one out, dragging the criminal with him before the other three even realized what was going on. In fact, they didn't even notice him gone. But Kaoru saw, and struggled even harder to get free.  
  
"Let me go, damnit, before you get hurt!" She yelled at them.  
  
"Oh, now we're scared." The tallest of the three left said. The one not holding her down bent down slightly and was touching her breast before he too was dragged off by the quick flash of the Battousai.  
  
"Eh, Goro, where'd the boss go?" The man named Goro turned to look, then was gone. But before Kenshin could get back, the fourth and final man grabbed Kaoru and held his knife to her neck.  
  
"I will kill her." He yelled it to whoever had downed his friends. A trickle of blood ran down Kaoru's chest. This one wasn't kidding.  
  
"Ken..shin.." She could only whisper his name, speaking would have pushed her throat against the knife, and cut her even more. She didn't even dare swallow.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that." Kenshin's voice sounded vicious. There wasn't even a shadow of the rurouni there. He crept up from behind the man, and, giving little care to the rurouni's vow, sliced the man's throat and grabbed Kaoru away from him. The man was dead before he hit the ground.  
  
"You're bleeding." Kenshin's voice was cold, and Kaoru shivered, despite the warmness that was coursing through her body from being pressed to Kenshin like she was.  
  
"Hai." She raised a hand to her throat, feeling the small cut in her skin. Kenshin picked her and her pack up and headed back towards the river with her.  
  
"We'll get you cleaned and clothed." So straight forward. So matter of fact. Not at all even a hint of the rurouni. His eyes glowed amber, seemingly boring a hole deep through her skull. She nodded to him.  
  
He didn't speak the rest of the short trip to the river, just walked, carefully holding her still naked body against him.  
  
When he reached the river's edge, he sat down, holding her in his lap, and wet his gi, using it to rinse the blood from her neck and the valley between her breasts. He seemed completely disinterested in what he was doing, as though cleaning a naked woman was something he did daily.  
  
She closed her eyes against the sight of the Battousai who had taken her rurouni over, and just let him wash her.  
  
Battousai was looking at Kaoru, watching the way she reacted to him. Though he knew she preferred the gentle rurouni, she still trusted him. He found it ironic that she was letting him, the Battousai, see her naked, while the rurouni had barely seen a glimpse of her before.  
  
The blood was washed away now, so he dried her off with another portion of his gi.   
  
When she didn't move from where she was, he lightly touched her collarbone, tracing the delicate bone from neck to shoulder and back again. He didn't lift his finger off of her, just dragged a finger down, between her breasts to just below her ribcage, and back up again, then laid his hand at her heart.  
  
Her pulse was wild, uneven and fast. He hadn't expected that. He had expected her to be repulsed by him, even disgusted. "Why aren't you disgusted by me?" He asked her, his voice betraying his surprise.  
  
"You and the rurouni are the same man. I trust you both. You're both Kenshin. Two halves to equal the whole." She paused and looked up at him, opening her blue eyes to look into his contrasting amber ones. "If I were disgusted by you, shouldn't I be by the rurouni? After all," she repeated, "you are the same man."  
  
Battousai had never considered that. He had always considered himself and the rurouni to be seperate people living in the same body. A body meant for one, he liked to think.  
  
She lifted a hand up to cover his. "Now, since I answered a question for you, you will for me. Why did you break your vow, Kenshin? Why did you kill?"   
  
  
  
  
Well? What do you think? It was one of my longer updates... so...  
  
And if you're just skipping to this chapter, cause you've read the other ones, I updated chpts one and two... just a little FYI... 


	6. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 6

Here it is!! About time, eh? Please R&R!! Enjoy!!  
"Now, since I answered a question for you, you will for me. Why did you break your vow, Kenshin? Why did you kill?"  
  
Her question caught him by surprise. He hadn't even considered the rurouni's vow before protecting Kaoru against the man who he had known would have killed her if Kenshin hadn't killed him first. He glanced down at her eyes, harsh gold meeting innocent blue, and knew that she would be expecting an answer. He shrugged. "I had to."   
  
Annoyed, Kaoru tossed her head. "Why?" Kenshin chuckled at her antics.   
  
"He would have killed you." He was amazed at the sight of her eyes filling with tears, tears that she fought and tried to keep back.  
  
"You didn't have to do that. We could have done this a different way, Kenshin, you didn't have to..." She struggled with her tears, but, as if in defiance, they rolled down her cheeks anyways. "I never wanted that, Kenshin. I never want you to have to break your vow. I love you too much..." There, she thought, now she had gone and said it. Now it was out in the open. Hopefully he wouldn't just toss her into the river. Who knew what Battousai would do...  
  
Kenshin frowned, his mind unable to get past her declaration of love. "Kaoru..." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I've waited a long time to hear that. Don't you think that would have been more appropriate months ago?" Another tear slipped from her eye.   
  
"I'm sorry, Kenshin. I'm sorry you don't feel the same way." Kenshin wasn't entirely sure how to feel. Battousai had never really loved the way that the rurouni had. He had loved, yes, but not like the rurouni.   
  
"Damnit, woman, why in the hell would you think that?" Was she completely blind? Wasn't the rurouni? "Nevermind. Don't answer that." His mind flashed back to all the times the rurouni could have told Kaoru, could have done something, anything, differently. Instead, he had a crying woman in his arms.  
  
Leaning down, he pulled her up to him, and laid his lips on hers, brushing her lips in just the slightest of a touch, before pulling away to look in her eyes. "Kenshin...?" Just his name, a question that meant so many things.   
  
Throwing caution to the winds, pressed his lips to hers again, forcefully pushing her mouth open to recieve him, and ambushed her mouth. After a shocked and confused moment, she responded to him, amazed at the sensations running through her body at every place they touched.  
  
Finally, he pulled away from her, shaking his head. "Get dressed." He said, setting her on her feet.   
  
"Kenshin, what's wrong?" Amber eyes turned towards her, looking up her body.   
  
"Do not push me, Kaoru." She wouldn't understand how easy it would be for him to take her, she willing and him needing.   
  
Kaoru couldn't figure him out. Either he liked her, or he didn't. It was pretty cut and dry. Why push her away? Ignoring his warning, she dropped to her knees in front of him. "Tell me, Kenshin. Tell me what it is!" His eyes just continued to watch her as she tried to think of a way to get him to talk. "You don't want me, do you? If you don't want me, then just say so, but don't string me along. I'm strong, I don't need to be disilluded." At his continued blank stare, she finally got pissed. "Damn you, tell me! Tell me now, so I can get on with my life and try to leave you behind. With or without, I need to go on! I can't wait until I'm too old to have kids for you to finally decide!"   
  
Kaoru? With someone else? Anger, even hotter than before, flashed in his amber eyes at the thought of someone, anyone, else with Kaoru. That would not happen. She was his. "You are mine." He growled at her, fury unleashed in his eyes. "Do not think I would allow you to be someone else's." For a moment, she had forgotten that he wasn't the gentle rurouni.   
  
Closing her eyes, she did the only thing she knew how to do. Provoke him farther. "Then why haven't you done anything about it? Do you expect me to be an old maid forever? How long do I have to wait for you to make me yours? Are you that much of a coward?" Surprise widened his eyes, but further anger caused him to narrow them into slits. "That's right, Kenshin. You're a coward. You're afraid of making a move that could possibly change the way that things are right now. What if things got worse, you ask yourself. You're so afraid of the slight chance of a poor outcome, you won't risk what you have for a better one!" She shrugged as Kenshin watched, and, even through his anger, he could see the delicious movement on her breasts. "You're a spineless coward."  
  
His mouth crashed down on hers at the same moment he dragged her down to the ground, laying himself on top of her. He could feel the surprise run through her, feel her stiffen, and a passing thought lingered in his mind for a moment. 'What if she doesn't want me?' But he pushed it, and the rurouni, further away from his mind. "You are mine." He growled into her hair.  
  
"Kenshin?" She didn't quite understand, not entirely anyway. He settled himself between her legs and put a hand on either side of her head, effectively trapping her. He dropped his head again to lay his mouth on hers and distracted her while pulling off his own clothes.   
  
She didn't realize what he had done until she felt his skin against hers. Unwittingly, she shivered, sending delicious sensations up and down his body, pushing him farther towards the edge he was so precariously perched on. He pulled his face away from hers and looked into her eyes, willing himself to actually look at her, into her, rather than through her.  
  
The trust that he saw in her eyes astounded him. He had never seen that kind of look in all his life, the look that told him that no matter what he did or didn't do, she trusted him. "Kaoru." He found himself whispering her name, as though it were an endearment.  
  
Kaoru brought her arms up and wrapped them around him, hugging him tight to her, pulling him back down to him. Her small act of acceptance broke his reserve, and he crushed his mouth to hers, ravaging her mouth the way he wanted to do to her pliant body. Kaoru, sensing that this was the only way that she would ever get Kenshin to become... romantic with her, took what he offerred, opening her mouth to him, pulling him as close to her as possible in every way.  
  
Kenshin's hands followed the curve of her body to her hips, and he lifted himself up, off of her, and pressed a palm against the soft curls that protected her softest parts. At the sudden contact, Kaoru arched her back, pleasure emanating through her body, and when his finger pushed just inside of her, she cried out, a mixture of his name and pure animal pleasure. His intense gaze never left her face, and he continued to watch her as he gently pleasured her with his finger, pushing her closer and closer to an edge she had no knowledge of.  
  
Her eyes flew open and caught Kenshin's, a shocked look on her face as she reached the pinnacle of her pleasure. "Now." he growled, and settled down on her body, pushing himself into her body in one relentless thrust. Kaoru felt the sharp stab of pain within her body, but didn't even pay it any attention, the pleasure rushing through her was too great.  
  
It took her a moment to realize that Kenshin was inside her, a not altogether bad experience. Inside her. Close as he could be to her. For some reason, she enjoyed that thought. "Kenshin, you're..." She shifted her hips against him, testing out the feeling.  
  
"Don't, do that, Kaoru. Not yet." He needed to give her, and himself, another second before he moved, so as not to lost what little control he had left. After a moment, he cautiously pulled back a little ways, and thrusted forward, savoring the feel of her wrapped around him.   
  
Her eyes opened again and met his, blue clashing with amber, and all he could see in her eyes was love for him, something he hadn't truly trusted himself to believe in again. Again, his hips repeated their actions, but this time Kaoru moved with him, her legs drawing up around his waist. Langorious turned frantic, and soon Kaoru found herself being pushed back over that same edge again, but this time, she took Kenshin with her.  
  
Kenshin's eyes slid closed for the first time, and he let himself go, finally letting pleasure take over his body, enjoying the feel. He collapsed on top of Kaoru, where they steyed until morning, when they would get up and renew their search.  
Okay, I finally updated... sorry about the time, my computer kicked the bucket, and my post, which had been ready to go, was eaten by the computer gods. As was just about everything else... that, and I don't have a beta... so I have to do it all on my own... oh, just as well...  
Let me know how it was, I wasn't so sure of this chapter... it's finally a lemon, ladies and gentlemen, the first I've put out on the 'net. Not a great one, and I'll probably expand, but people seemed like they were going to toast me over an open fire if I didnt update soon... so sorry.. I'll try to get out the next chapter soon, like within a few days... Please don't eat me!!  
And, finally, I'll reply to all the reviews... even the old ones... in the next chpt. Just not tonight... I have to go to work in eight hours, and I haven't gone to bed yet... night!!  
Love you guys!  
Alys 


	7. Bringing Out the Battousai Chapter 7

Her eyes opened again and met his, blue clashing with amber, and all he could see in her eyes was love for him, something he hadn't truly trusted himself to believe in again. Again, his hips repeated their actions, but this time Kaoru moved with him, her legs drawing up around his waist. Languorous turned frantic, and soon Kaoru found herself being pushed back over that same edge again, but this time, she took Kenshin with her.

Kenshin's eyes slid closed for the first time, and he let himself go, finally letting pleasure take over his body, enjoying the feel. He collapsed on top of Kaoru, where they stayed until morning, when they would get up and renew their search.

Morning seemed to come far too quickly for Kaoru, who not only dreaded to see if her deep-seated fear had become reality, she worried that Kenshin now hated her, but also because her tired body, first keyed up due to her attack, then sated by Kenshin, had not had nearly enough time to rest. She wasn't entirely sure she understood all of what had happened between herself and Kenshin over the past few days, but she knew she had to find out, knew she had to find the key to unlocking Kenshin's mind, so she could see all his secrets within.

Unwittingly, her eyes forced themselves open, only for her to turn her head, and thus her nose, towards the smell of Kenshin cooking fish over a fire. Kami only knew how long he had been awake already.

As though feeling her gaze on him, he looked up and gave a cat-like smile, not of the rurouni, but, unless she missed her mark, not quite of the Battousai either. "Hungry, Kaoru?" Staring stupidly at him, it took a few moments for his voice to break through to her befuddled mind, and yet longer for her to form a response.

As she was about to speak, her stomach rumbled, as though impatient with her long response time. Lifting an eyebrow, Kenshin looked back down at the fire, and at the fish he held over the fire on thin branches. "It's not much, but it will hold you over till we reach a village… if we do."

It was Kaoru's turn to flash a look his direction. "Well, thanks to me, I remembered some hard cakes…" She trailed off, realizing she had no idea where her pack was. Glancing out over the lake, then looking back to Kenshin, he caught her eye and gesture to the left of him, farther up on the beach, closer to the trees.

She stood up quickly, and then realized that beneath the clothes Kenshin had laid on top of her, she was completely naked, and completely exposed for Kenshin to see. This time in the daylight. Feeling the heat of Kenshin's stare on her body, she looked back at him.

"I would suggest that you put on some clothes quickly, that I would." Unlike the inflection of the rurouni, Kenshin's tone implied that to do otherwise would be dangerous, and a serious temptation of fate. Hurrying over to her pack, she drew out a fresh set of clothes and donned them as quickly as possible before turning back around to face Kenshin once again.

"The fish is done." He held out on of the branches he held to her, and, walking towards him, she took the branch, trying hard to keep from touching him, but as soon as she had the branch in her hand, he grabbed her wrist and stared intently into her face, knowing what she was avoiding. "It will not be like that between us." Assuming a haughty look, Kaoru wrenched her wrist away from Kenshin and sat across from him before looking him in the face.

"Despite what you think, Kenshin, you are not my master, nor are you my husband. And if I so chose, I will act however I see fit."

"Ah, because that's done you so well up until now. No, Kaoru, you will-" Already she cut him off.

"No. You will listen to me: I took YOU in when you had no home, I took Yahiko in, I've fed you both, clothed Yahiko to the best of my ability, I have done as best as I could. I will not be your whore, and I will not simply obey any command you see fit to give." Staring down at her fish, she missed the anger boiling up in him.

"It has never been my intention to make you my whore. However, you will do as I say, because out here, you do not know what you are up against." Holding up a hand to halt her impending onslaught, he continued, "We will discuss this further when we are back at the dojo once more, however, until then, you will listen to me, because I have every intention of keeping you safe." He paused to stare into her eyes for a moment, and found himself laughing. "We are well matched, you and I." Shaking his head, he gave up explaining and talking her into it. He'd simply have to physically ensure she listened to him. "Eat, we leave as soon as we are done."

Okay, this is a short update, but I haven't updated this story in three and a half years. I had to write a little to refresh my memory on this story. I wonder, however, if any who originally read this story in the beginning are reading this now. Let me know, I'd be interested to see who read this so long ago. And, one more thing: I wasn't ignoring writing: I went into the Navy. Go figure. So most of my time was taken up then. I finally figured out my password, which is awesome, because I've always wanted to finish this story. For those who are interested, let me know what you think, what you like, what you hate, and if anyone has any ideas for where this should go, let me know. I don't write with a fixed idea in mind, generally, I start with an idea and work from there. God knows where this could end up.

Thanks!

Alys


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